My Fight with Loneliness

My sister is 8259.17 km from me or I from her. It depends who you ask, doesn't it?  I have been missing her. A lot. Especially when she sent me the photo of her new tattoo: Two stars. One purple, one blue. Our favorite colors. The tattoo represents us, blood sisters. How far I felt! Sometimes, how lonely! And then, I remembered one of her posts on social media:

Obviously, the message of this phrase will depend on what you want it to mean to you. As the teacher in me, I would think of it as this:
If you really want ______________ , you will __________________________ .
If you don't, you will find an excuse.

Here, the homework begins: What does one really want? What is the point in all we do? Anyway, to make the long story short, I decided to focus on the element that has me struggling at the present: Loneliness. First, one must define it in order to understand it:
"Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out, because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand? I was in the grips of real loneliness back then, but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me. But loneliness is defined purely subjectively. It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you." Guy Winch
As the rational woman I can't help being,  I googled "ways to fight loneliness". Among the articles I found, I came across one that talks about 6 things you can do to fight it, and 1 thing you shouldn't do. Here they are:
  1. Write it down
  2. Do a project
  3. Disengage with social media
  4. Reconnect with nature
  5. Get more comfortable with the silence
  6. Practice gratitude
  7. DON"T think of loneliness only as negative
But then, isn't this list missing something? Don't get me wrong. The list is pretty good and useful. Still, can you think of a #8? Let me give you some time...Think hard...A little more...What did you come with? I have a suggestion. You can either agree or not. I do believe one needs a dream. Fall in love with it. Strive to accomplish it, for your own self.

By now, the problem has been pointed out and understood. Time for homework!!

If you really want to live a fulfilling life, you will have a dream.
If you don't, you will keep feeling your soul is incomplete.

Find a dream, and fall in love with it. Now, or soon enough. Winter is coming and one must be ready. Of course, I still miss my sister, but it helps understanding why each one of us is walking her own path. Do you understand yours?

Stressed Out & Out of Service


Wouldn't it be wonderful to plug oneself into a computer, run a scan, detect errors and fix them? My report would probably say, body overload, brain overload, heart overload, and contents spilling down the muscles. Back muscles. Beware of severe damage! 

     Unfortunately, this technology is not available at my home and I couldn't prevent the damage: I have been out of order from PostNL for almost a week. Needless to say how I feel since this is my last month with my dear colleagues. 

     What the hell happened?! An overload, of course! Now, let's try to find the beauty in this because I do have many happy projects going on... Our bodies are like computers, and if they need to talk to us, they will. In this case, I am being told to sit still, review body, brain and heart activity, re-design plans, and reboot!

     Here comes the tricky part. One must stop avoiding. One must confront oneself. I know, and I forget: One cannot have it all. All cannot, and maybe shouldn't, be perfect. Work with what you have. Embrace the now. Life is an instant.

     What will the strategy be? Go to the physiotherapist today, and embrace my imperfect self and life. And, for goodness sake, relax!