I have been thinking about how I can show you who I was before moving to The Netherlands for love. I think that if I can accomplish that, then you can better understand the challenges that starting over imply.
A typical day for me was:
5:20 a.m. Get up and go swimming or running
7:15 a.m. Drive to school
7:30 a.m. to 2:45 p.m. Enjoy the love and attention of my more than 200 hundred students
7:30 a.m. to 2:45 p.m. Work on inspiring my students to learn, think, and understand
3:00 p.m. Drive to a friend or student's house for lunch
4:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Give English private lessons
8:00 p.m. Go home or have dinner with friends
In the six months I have lived in The Netherlands, my routine has gone through many changes, and it still does. There were the weeks where all I could think of was cleaning, and others were I wanted to go to every store in the city. Then, days came when it was difficult to get out of bed: It was overwhelming to feel and think who would I become.
Today, while listening to Esther Perel's podcast which I had been waiting for with much anticipation, I paid attention to a phrase. I actually had to stop what I was doing (making the bed if you want to know). In Episode 1 of "Where Should We Begin?", Esther Perel says,
"Time never exists on its own. It's what happens in it. You have to give it meaning, you have to shape it."After I reflected on this, I realized that it was a perfect way of describing what one needs to do in order to have a meaningful existence. Is it easy? Sometimes it is. I am a cheerful, optimistic, and fun person (most of the time), and that makes it easier. Other times, one needs to seek professional help, especially after you cry in the mornings, you lose your bike, and your very good and smart friend asks you what are you waiting for. It shouldn't be a taboo, should it? Oh, and I almost forget! My essential oils help too. Bless my sister!
As for now, what is a day like? A little bit of everything. I am trying to find balance in my routine. For example, time to be with my partner, learn, swim, work, clean, cook, be a good friend, stay close to my loved ones back in Mexico, study Dutch, listen to music, write, read, teach, knit, feel loved, laugh, get stronger...I guess, again, I need to work on slowing down as well.